Crooked Guns . . . a Caroline Update

I feel like this blog has an identity problem. On the one hand, I know some of you read it for the writing side of things, the interesting conversations, the updates, the writing tips, etc. On the other hand, I know some of you read it as a way of keeping tabs on my health and, now, Caroline's health. So I waver back and forth between posts on writing and posts on health and the associated blessings and struggles. For now, until I come up with something better, I'll stick with both and continue this split personality thing.

Many of you have been thinking about and praying for my youngest daughter, Caroline. She's seven and was recently diagnosed with juvenile arthritis (the pediatric rheumatologist thinks it's psoriatic arthritis). She's been on the milder medication now for four weeks and, honestly, we haven't seen any change for the better. If anything, her symptoms have worsened. Granted, the medication dosage was ramped up and this week is her first week at full dosage so we'll give it more time.

For a little background, her symptoms started in her left hand, ring finger. From there it progressed to both hands and then to her wrists. Now, she experiences pain and stiffness in her hands, wrists, ankles, knees, sternum, and sometimes low back.

Like with any arthritis, the symptoms are erratic, good days and bad days, more stiff and sore in the morning or after vigorous activity. She is seeing an occupational therapist for her hands and the report there is that things are improving, goals are being met. Good stuff. But overall we're seeing symptoms showing up in more joints. Not good.

Can I ask you to please pray for Caroline? It tears at a daddy's heart (and her mommy's too!) to see our baby girl hurting like she does. To her credit, Caroline's faith is unwavering. She is just as happy-go-lucky as she ever was, smiles and laughs just as much and is just as goofy.

For trick or treat (here in Hanover, PA they do t 0r t the Tuesday before Halloween (weird)) she dressed up as a cowgirl. She tried making a gun with her fingers but because of the arthritis her fingers don't straighten all the way. Caroline said to Jen, "Mommy, I wish I didn't have this arthritis. My guns are crooked!"

Creating a Mood

Being a published author I occasionally get novice writers asking me to read some of their work and comment on it. Sometimes I do (if I feel I have time), sometimes I decline. As you can imagine, I've read all kinds of writing. Some very, very good and I wonder, Why hasn't this person landed a contract yet? and some . . . well, some that needs a lot of work.

One of the common threads I notice in those that need a lot of work is lack of mood. This is something I've learned through the writing of my three books thus far: Creating a mood for the reader is pivotal.

Every story should have a mood that it creates, whether it be suspense or horror or warm comfort or sweet love. Think about books you've read that have really captured you. Didn't they create a mood in you.

Here's some I think of: Stephen King's stories carry a mood of creepiness (by the way, I think King is the master of this mood thing. He could write about a little girl playing dollies in the back yard and it would feel creepy); W. Dale Cramer and his southern fiction creates a mood of down home comfort and simple living; Nicholas Sparks' stories create that mood of sweet, innocent love.

See what I mean? Mood is everything.

As a writer there are various techniques used to create that mood. Some include:

1) Word choice. Carefully chosen words that give the piece a desired feeling.
2) The colors chosen for a setting. This doesn't follow any hard and fast rule but color does create mood so they might want to be used appropriately.
3) Sentence structure. Shorter sentences create that feeling of movement and suspense. Longer sentences slow things down and warm the reader a bit.
4) Paragraph structure. Same as above.
5) Appropriate metaphors and similes. This is a tough one and takes a lot of the pondering to get that right feeling out of mets and sims.
6) Dialogue of characters. Both what they say and how they say it.

Get the drift? Mood is something chosen by the author before the writing has begun. When you read a story and feel a certain way, that feeling, that mood was created intentionally.

Here's what I suggest, the next time you read a novel, pay close attention to how you feel reading the story, what mood is created, then look for how that author encouraged that mood through his/her writing.

My Achey Breaky Bowels

It's no secret I have bowel issues. Things happen when you have part of your colon removed and your small intestine cut in half and sewed back together again. Not exactly what God intended to happen. The body does it's job and forms adhesions to hold everything in place again but those adhesions can then wreak havoc on the functioning of the bowel.

My problem now is with the small intestine. For those who don't know what a "small bowel obstruction" is, let me explain it how the surgeon explained it to me. You know how when you turn on your garden hose sometimes there's a kink in it and won't let the water out? That's an obstruction. Except with the small intestine that kink is caused by adhesions, or scar tissue. The intestine kinks and nothing is getting through. This can be very painful because the body is pretty insistent about stuff getting through and won't take no for an answer.

So back to the garden hose analogy. If you turn the water off, the hose slowly unkinks, ever notice that? The way they treat an obstruction is the same way. Turn the water off. A nasogastric tube is placed to pump the stomach of its contents and the order is given for no food or fluid (by mouth) until things unkink. As the bowel rests it slowly unkinks.

That's it in a nutshell, in layman's terms.

The treatment is tricky. One way to treat it is just to keep doing what we're doing, let things rest and the intestine will unkink itself. Another way to treat it is with surgery. Go in and clean out the adhesions. Problem is, as my surgeon put it, you're solving a problem caused by surgery . . . by doing another surgery. Doesn't always have the desired outcomes.

So here's the plan for me. We're gonna wait and see what happens. This may never happen again or it may happen again next month. My surgeon said if it keeps happening regularly (that is, two or so times a year) then we'll talk about surgery. He isn't excited about the surgery because you can only do so much laproscopically. Because the small intestine is so convoluted the only way to get all the adhesions is to open me up and disect the small intestine out taking it inch by inch and removing the adhesions. He says it's no big deal as far as surgeries go . . . but it sounds like a big deal to me!!

I'm not excited about waiting and seeing what happens. That tube up your nose is like something the Nazis would have devised as a method of torture. Something truly to be feared.

Oh, I know God is in control but (and I hope this doesn't sound blasphemous) knowing that doesn't help much when that tube is so far up your nose you're gagging on it and all the while the nurse is telling you so swallow it. I just want all this cancer stuff behind me . . . go away and leave me alone. But it doesn't seem like that's going to happen soon . . . if ever.

Living on the "Edge"

Let's talk about "edgy fiction."

First, by "edgy" I'm assuming most people mean pushing the envelope on what's politically correct within the CBA. That is, the standard m.o. of the CBA has been no sex, no swearing (even euphamisms are frowned upon), and watch the violence and gore very closely. It has also been taboo to have unmarried folk jumping in bed with each other, homosexual characters portrayed in a positive light, and other no-no subjects in the spotlight. Therefore, "edgy" fiction is fiction that pushes that envelope, that stretches what is acceptable in the CBA and sees how much it can get away with.

Now, because of the horror aspect of my novels, many would consider my writing to be "edgy."

I don't. And here's why.

One, because I loathe that whole edgy thing. This notion of seeing how much we can get away with in the CBA and not get our hands slapped is juvenile and silly . . . in my opinion. How low have we stooped in Christian fiction when we purposefully feel we have to prove something to . . . who? . . . by seeing how far we can inch our toe over that line of what is acceptable.

Two, because I'm not into being "cool." And that's what this edgy thing feels like. How cool are we that we can slip in a swear word or get some extra gore in there without an editor cutting it. Man, when we can do that, we've arrived as writers . . . Cool! Of course, I'm being facetious.

Three, because I think good writing is more than making your bad guy call some woman a bad word and more than describing in detail how the villain dismembers some guy with a surgical saw.

And four, because this whole edgy thing smacks of those shock jocks on the radio whose whole persona is seeing how much they can get away with and not get fined. I want to be more than that as a writer.

Some say they have to push the envelope in order to write what is real. People do swear, violence does happen, unmarried folk do hop in the sack with each other. Of course all that is true. But writing is not merely describing activity. It's so much more than that. It's establishing a mood, setting a scene, creating a world, and taking the reader on a journey. And (surprise, surprise) all that can be accomplished through good writing, not just "real" writing. Good writing can take the reader into the mind of the villain and show her his anger or hatred or whatever so much better than a clumsily placed swear word.

Okay, I need to wrap this post up. Look, call me whatever kind of writer you want--a good one, a lousy one, a thoughtful one, a wannabe one--but please oh please don't call me an edgy one. I'm not into pushing any envelopes. I just want to write the story in my head and on my heart to the best of my ability.

What do you think of all this "edgy" stuff. Is it good for Christian fiction?

Another Hospital Stay

Well, I had another brief layover in the hospital. Tuesday morning I awoke feeling normal as usual. After breakfast the abdominal cramps began, coming in waves and progressively increasing in intensity. I knew right away what it was . . . another small bowel obstruction (I had one in March which landed me in the hospital for four days).

Wishfully thinking, I went to work, hoping the obstruction would resolve itself and I would be fine. Wishful thinking. Halfway through the day the cramps were so bad I couldn't stand up straight. I went home and told Jen we had to go to the hospital. The girls (who are homeschooled) immediately got anxious.

"Daddy has to go to the hospital again?"

"Is your cancer back, daddy?"

I assured them I was going to be okay and off we went. After five hours in the ER I finally got some pain medication which helped tremendously. Then I got the word, yes it was a bowel obstruction (duh!) and yes I would need an nasogastric tube placed to decompress the bowel (in layman's terms, that's up your nose with a rubber hose to pump your stomach).

The good news was, I was only in for less than 48 hours this time. The bad news, that nasogastric tube is akin to some barbaric torture used to extract information out of a mortal enemy.

I meet with the surgeon today to discuss options on how to proceed from here. Since it's happened two times now (it's caused by scar tissue in my abdomen from my previous surgeries) the chances of it repeatedly happening are very good. There is the possibility of laproscopic surgery to cut away the scar tissue in there but as the surgeon said before, "Your curing a problem caused by surgery by doing another surgery." Hmmm.

Anyway, I'm home now and feeling much better and really, really hoping and praying this doesn't happen again.

Some Updates

Sometimes life happens in a blur and you rarely have time to fill everyone in on what's happening. You know how it is.

So here are a few updates about . . .

Caroline. We started her on her medication for juvenile arthritis a few weeks ago and are slowly ramping up the dosage. So far, she's not noticed any change. If anything, things continue to progress. She was having pain in her hands/wrists and ankles. Lately, she's been complaining of that hallmark morning pain/stiffness in her knees too. It's hard to watch things continue on course like this and not be able to do anything about it. As a parent, you feel so helpless. Daddy's are supposed to be able to fix things and this is one thing I can't fix. But God can. We know that . . . and Caroline knows it too.

Writing. I'll be doing a booksigning with a few other authors on November 14 from 1-3 p.m. at The Vine Christian Bookstore outside Philadelphia. If you live in the area, why not stop in a say hi? Also, I sent in my final edits for Darlington Woods this morning. Release date is May 4, 2010. Now, I prepare while I wait.

Teaching. I received word yesterday that I was approved as an adjunct instructor at Lancaster Bible College in Lancaster, PA (yes, home of the Amish, those intriguing stars of Amish fiction). Spring 2010 I'll be teaching a freshman course titled "Writing for Publication." Exciting stuff.

Health. I had a CT scan done a couple weeks ago and it showed everything looks good. No metastasis observed. Praise God!

I think that's all for now. Until later . . .

Let's Talk About Violence

This has been an interesting discussion but I'd like to steer it in a slightly different direction now. Let's talk about violence in fiction. We all have read books where the author went way overboard on the violence, making it either grotesque or just plain hokey. The challenge for any writer is to describe enough that the reader gets the point and remains connected to the story, but not so much that he/she disconnects out of disgust. I could ask the question "how much is too much" but it's been asked umpteen times and there really is no concrete answer. It all depends on the writer and how well he/she describes the event and the reader and how well he/she handles violence being described.

My question is more specific to violence against women and how men and women readers respond to it. I know some female readers who just abhor reading about violence against women. They think it has no place in Christian fiction (isn't there enough portrayed in movies, TV, etc. already?). And yet other women think it does have a place. After all, isn't art supposed to mimic life? And, let's face it, sadly there is violence against women in the real world.

Ladies, how do you feel when you read an act of violence being carried out against a woman?

Men, how do you feel when you read it?

I can tell you as an author I have a hard time writing violence against women. My books include it but it is difficult for me. Whether it's warranted or not, I write it with a certain sense of guilt. Maybe it's because I know it's been flashed up on too many screens and ignored in society for too long and I somehow feel I'm feeding into it. I don't know.

What do you think?

How to Reach the One

I like where this conversation is headed because it's something I struggle with. It seems there are differing thoughts and opinions on whether one is a Christian author or an author who happens to be a Christian, and on whether a "Christian author who happens to be a Christian" has an obligation to use the opportunity they've been given to share God's message with the readers.

I'm not out to judge anyone, I believe their convictions are between them and God but as for me I see it this way. I've been given a gift and a great opportunity to use that gift. There are A LOT of writers out there and the chances of any of them getting published are slim, slim, slim, so I'm fully aware of the gift I've been given. I don't want to stand before God and have Him ask me, "What did you do with the gift I gave you?" and say, "Well, I wrote a really neat story that a lot of people liked." This writing thing, each story I craft, is my one shot to say what God has put on my heart. I don't want to blow it. I want to use it to reach people with God's message of hope and love and redemption and salvation. I see this writing gig as a very high calling, and I want to make the most of it.

Now, that being said . . . there's a lot of that being said out there. And a lot of Christians being reached through Christian fiction. But what about the lost? Here's my question: How does a Christian writer reach a secular readership with a message that isn't watered down or camouflaged or hidden so deep no one even knows it's there? How do we reach that one lost sheep with a message he/she can understand? Is it up to the writer? Or is it up to the Christian reader to pass the book along to his/her friends, family, co-workers?

I can honestly say I've had many fans of secular fiction read Scream and comment on how much they enjoyed it and the message in it . . . but it was given to them by a friend or acquaintence of some kind, whether me or someone else. Is that the key? That Christian readers have to be more proactive about using fiction as a tool to introduce others to Christ?

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, afterall, this is where the rubber meets the road, where the Great Commission is front and center.

Suspense with a Message?

Again, thanks to all who commented. This is turning out to be a great and enlightening discussion. Let's take a new turn with it and go where it seems there are a lot of varying opinions and convictoins: the Christian message behind suspense. A hot button for sure.

Let's face it, there are a lot of "Christian" suspense novels out there that really have no Christian theme or message to them at all. Yes, they are absent the cursing and sex and, for the most part, gore of their secular counterparts, but to call them Christian is really stretching it. I know this is an area of differing schools of thought, but really, let's call it what it is and what it isn't. No shame in that.

Here's what I'd like to hear from you:

1. What is your opinion on this trend? Christian publishers putting "Christian" fiction out there that has no Christian message. (We don't need to name names; this is isn't about bashing anyone, just discussing). And what do you think the impact of this is on the industry as a whole?

2. Why do you think this trend has grown in recent years? Is it driven by fear, by sales, by what?

3. Would you rather read a good suspense book with no Christian message or one with a solid message?

I have to tell you, as an author I find it much harder to craft a story of suspense that has a Christian message than one that doesn't. I have a lot of stories in my head and would not be hard-pressed at all to just write the story as it is, but to weave a message of hope or redemption or salvation and point the reader to Jesus through the story is a much more difficult task, it takes the story crafting to a whole new level.

What do you think?

More on Suspense in the CBA

Thanks to everyone who commented on the state of suspense in the CBA. Great words of wisdom shared on a very thoughtful topic. I think this discussion needs to be had. For so long it's been said that Christian fiction is all about prairie romances and chick lit and Amish lit. But what about suspense? Fans of Christian suspense need to make their voices heard.

One of the commenters asked some questions about my motives for writing and I'd like to address them now with some questions of my own:

Why do you write what you write? I write suspense because I think it most closely mimics real life. Let's face it, life can be really scary and suspenseful. Monsters are real. They may not look like those phony jobs in old Japanese movies but they are real. They come in the form of cancer and juvenile arthritis and Parkinson's and the jerk who can't keep his hands off his teenage daughter. I write suspense because it allows me to explore the human psyche and emotions on a much deeper level, and, I think, a much more realistic level.

What are the reasons for your writing? The reasons are varied. One is because writing gives me an outlet for my crazy imagination. Another is for the reason I stated above, writing gives me an opportunity to study people and get into the human psyche and what makes people tick and cry and laugh and scream with fear or burst with excitement. Yet another reason is because I want to inspire and encourage people through the power of story. And lastly, I write because it gives me a voice. I stutter and don't always use the words I want to use when verbally speaking, but when I'm writing I can let my voice go and say what I want, how I want.

What are you trying to get across to your audience? Hopefully, what I'm getting across is hope. My stories have to have a strong Christian message to them. I want people to see that no matter how bad life gets, how scary or depressing or suspenseful, there is always hope in Christ. I learned that first-hand again with my own battle with a monster.

What does your writing do for the reader? Again, hopefully inspires and encourages them. Hopefully instills hope. And hopefully gives them an outlet from the work-a-day world, a place to escape to and lose themselves in.

Now, some questions for you:

I hear a lot about attracting female readership by having a strong female protagonist. Last year I wrote a book that I loved. Love the story, the characters, everything. I thought then (and still do) that it was some of my best work to date. But both my agent and editors at my publishing house balked at it because it didn't have a female protagonist. They said women readers wouldn't be interested. My question is (at the risk of sounding very chauvinist--which I am definitely not), are women readers that shallow that they can't read and enjoy a book that doesn't have a female protagonist? I've read several books by varying authors that didn't have strong male protags and loved them (Dean Koontz's The Darkest Evening of the Year and The Taking and Stephen King's Lisey's Story and Delores Claiborne, to name a few).

My second question is: What do you think of the subgenre of Christian horror? Does it have a fighting chance in the CBA?

I'm looking forward to your comments!

The State of CBA Suspense

The state of CBA fiction is something that has been concerning me lately. Not the sales or the popularity of it, in this economy that seems to be holding its own. The thing that concerns me are the trends. Have you seen the latest Christian Book Distributor's catalogs? The vast majority of fiction listed is Amish and sweet romance. In the latest fiction catalog, the first half of the booklet was devoted to Amish and romance. Suspense was way back on page forty-eight, after Westerns and Fantasy. Ouch!

What's happening here? Is suspense being pushed out?

My friend, Eric Wilson, recently sent this sobering email to his email list (I'm using it with his permission):

This is the last chance . . .

If you haven't heard already, Valley of Bones, the last book in the Jerusalem's Undead Trilogy will be out next April. My sales in the Christian market have been anemic, and my career in doing edgier books there is over after this. Please . . . help spread the word about this series to make room for others in the market. It's sad to me that the latest ChristianBook.com catalog is overrun with Amish and romance titles. The readers have spoken, and there is no more room for my style of books.

At least not here.

I'll be pitching a new series to the mainstream market (where I've always wanted to be anyway), and I have a high-octane NY agent who believes in what I'm doing. Let's get the Jerusalem's Undead Trilogy moving off the shelves to get some more NY attention.

Folks, to me, that's sad and scary. If this trend keeps up, more and more CBA suspense authors will be following Eric. I'm not sure what is happening or why but Eric is right, the readers are speaking and suspense seems to be on its way out. Seems to be . . . maybe we're wrong (I sure hope so).

Now, I know there are a lot of suspense fans out there. I get emails from them just about every day. But for some reason, I'm thinking the sales aren't showing it. Or maybe there just aren't enough titles to compete with the other genres. Hmmm.

Any thoughts on this? Any ideas? I'd love to hear them.

By the way, I got the release date for Darlington Woods: May 4, 2010.

Lessons Caught

Sometimes you test your kids to see if they're really paying attention when you talk to them, to see if they're "catching" the lessons of life.

The other day I was on an errand with my three daughters and somehow we got on the subject of smoking and how it ruined the lungs (recently, at a fair, they saw real human lungs that had been blackened by nicotine). My youngest daughter made a comment about how cool it would be if they could give those people new lungs. I told her that wasn't possible yet but that they can give someone a new heart. That led to a long discussion on how a heart is transplanted and how the surgery is performed.

They were fascinated by the whole thing.

Then the discussion turned to the donor and again, my youngest daughter asked, "Daddy, does the person giving the heart have to die?" I went on to explain how the whole donor thing happened with the untimely death and the phone call and the rush to the hospital and all.

"But what if it's a baby?" Ouch. That was a tough one to explain.

My oldest daughter then said, "So someone has to die for someone else to live?"

I said that was true and asked them what that made them think of. In unison, all three of them said, "Jesus."

Yes, they are catching the lessons being taught them. I was one happy daddy.

Caroline's Arthritis

For those wondering, here's an update on Caroline (we saw the rheumatologist yesterday). In the three weeks since he's seen her, he was concerned because her arthritis has already progressed and worsened. It's in more small joints of her hands and wrists and now in her ankles as well. After five minutes or so of walking she starts complaining of pain in her ankles and one of us usually has to carry her on our back.

The appointment was sobering, to say the least, and I got that same punched-in-the-gut feeling the first time I met with my surgeon and he gave me the skinny on my cancer.

Her arthritis is progressing quickly and with how it's presenting the doctor is almost certain it's psoriatic arthritis which brings with it a list of possible other complications. He said with juvenile arthritis studies show that if you treat it the way you treat cancer (jump on it hard right off the bat then go on a maintenance program) there's a much better chance of it going into remission. With how it's progressing, if we do nothing, it will eventually cripple her.

For the most part, Caroline is her same old seven-year-old happy-go-lucky self but she does have morning stiffness and pain and now that her ankles are involved, prolonged weight-bearing and even bike riding causes pain.

Please pray for her and us. Obviously, Jen and I are struggling with this. It could be something Caroline will simply outgrow, or it could be something she'll battle the rest of her life. This is our little girl we're dealing with here. It's one thing for me to get cancer; it's a completely different thing for my baby girl to deal with something like this. As a daddy, you want to be able to protect your girls, keep them from pain and suffering, but there's nothing you can do when it's her own body that's attacking her. I feel helpless, frustrated, and scared.